Enjoy this week’s guest post by Erin O’Connor, who shares some of her own personal story and the healing powers of mindfulness!
They say a picture is worth a thousand words. I was 39 when I got married, and it was truly the happiest day of my life. We had a small wedding in the Dominican Republic with close friends and family. My cousin Jack was our officiant. It was beautiful and absolutely perfect.
When Billy and I met, I was in a very dark place feeling depressed and defeated from one failed relationship after another. Billy lit me up from the inside. He was honest, thoughtful, loving and he OOZED integrity. Billy was an AMAZING selfless human being. For the first time in my life, I felt safe enough to start loving myself so I could shine more love out into the world like he did. My relationship with Billy catapulted me into wanting to love myself more. I learned that to love another person fully and deeply, you need to first love yourself. So that’s what I set out to do.
It started with fitness. I began taking better care of myself, eating well and exercising. I joined an amazing online fitness program and became a part of true sisterhood. Later, I saw the changes in myself and became passionate about sharing what I learned with others. In 2012, I completed my Personal Training Certification. I was a personal trainer for a few years and loved it. I loved fitness so much that I brought a before school fitness program to the elementary school I taught at.
Fast forward to 2015 when I discovered mindfulness. I was first introduced to mindfulness at professional development workshop. A woman named Theresa came to my school to speak to teachers about using mindfulness practices in the classroom. I remember sitting there that day thinking, “Yes, this is something I’m meant to learn more about!” My physical body had undergone a transformation and now it was time to do the same for my mind. At the time, I had no idea just how impactful it was going to be in my life.
I learned the fundamentals, established a practice, and later took a yearlong course to become a Certified Mindfulness Instructor. I wanted to share this practice with anyone and everyone who would listen. At the time I was teaching kindergarten, so I became uber passionate about teaching these skills to my students. Providing children with these tools at an early age is like giving them a gift. Mindfulness is a practice that helps to focus the mind, but it also opens the human heart…gratitude, compassion, empathy, and self-compassion, these all go hand in hand with mindfulness.
In 2016, just two years after we were married, Billy was killed in a tragic work-related accident. As you can imagine my heart was shattered. I experienced a wide range of emotions… unbearable heartache, anger, loneliness, frustration. The list could go on. There were many moments I refer to as “shit f**k shit moments” on my kitchen floor where I would just cry and scream all alone in my house with my three dogs. And followed by those moments, there were moments of gratitude…so many moments of gratitude.
My mindfulness practice is what saved me from going down the dark hole of widowhood. I felt the heart wrenching pain of his absence, but I always came back to the feeling of gratitude. I was grateful for the time we shared even though it was cut way too short. I was grateful that on the morning he died, I squeezed him tight and told him that I loved him before he went off to work. I had no idea those would be the very last words I spoke to my husband. Billy’s love was honest and true. He loved ALL of me…even the shadow sides of me. I will be forever grateful to Billy for showing me what unconditional love feels like. Loving him and losing him magnified my ability to look for the good in all situations, because there’s ALWAYS something to be grateful for.
Why am I telling you all of this? I’m telling you this because mindfulness is a superpower that every human on the planet could benefit from. I’m passionate about teaching others what has worked for me. Mindfulness helped me move forward after losing the love of my life. I was able to be with my pain instead of trying to mask it or push it away. But most importantly, I was able to recognize all that was good in my life.
I left my teaching job in June after 21 years of teaching so I could follow my heart and teach what TRULY matters. Children need to learn how to calm down, focus their attention, regulate their emotions, care for others, see all that is good in their lives and most importantly they need to learn to LOVE themselves.
Mindfulness is so much more than sitting on a meditation cushion. It is a way of being. We spend so much time in “doing mode” that we miss out on the beauty of life. There are no guarantees in life, so why not be present and appreciate what we have? Take a moment right now to pause and breathe deeply. Notice your feet on the floor. Listen. Look around you, what do you see? This is mindfulness.
Erin is a former kindergarten and first grade teacher. She is a Mindful Schools Certified Mindfulness Instructor and has taught mindfulness to students, parents, teachers, and school administrators. Erin is passionate about teaching kids and adults the power of presence, self-compassion, empathy, gratitude, and most of all, how to love and accept themselves. All things she wishes she learned as a kid!
She passionately believes that teaching focused attention, compassion and self-care to students, teachers, parents, and families will help foster Happy Humans everywhere. To learn more about Erin you can follow her on Facebook, Instagram, YouTube, or you can find her at www.happyhumansmindfulness.com.